Invite her to a fun spot near your house.
You’ll make it more convenient for her if she wants to come over. Choose a venue that’s about 5-10 minutes away from where you live. Also ask about her schedule to grab her attention. You can give her some options like: ”A new brewery opened up. I was thinking about checking it out. How does your Friday look?” “Want to grab some sushi or some Peruvian coffee? Are you free Saturday?” “I’d love to take you out to my favorite live music spot. Are you off on the weekend?”
Be on time when you meet her.
She’ll know you’re reliable and you’ll put her at ease. Plan out your day so that you’ll make it to your date right when she expects you to arrive. Check how long it will take to get to the right place, and look for any details that will affect your ETA, like any traffic. Text her when you’re on your way. When you show up, she’ll know you’re great with logistics. Figure out how much time it’ll take to shower, groom, and get dressed. First impressions are important. Send a confirmation text earlier in the week, then just one text right before you arrive. When you show up, greet her in person. You’ll instantly play off all her anticipation.
Start a deep conversation with her.
Build a rapport by asking her thoughtful questions. You can ask her about work or about where she’s from. Then, dive a little deeper and focus on her hobbies or passions. After food or drinks arrive, get more creative and go for questions about her opinions. She’ll love that the spotlight is on her. Start with simple ice-breakers like: ”So, you’re in accounting! What’s that like? Is it really punching numbers all day, or is that just a myth?” ”Okay, so we covered work. But what do you do to unwind?” “What’s your hot take on streaming standup shows? Is it better to just go to one in person?”
Create some physical tension and flirt.
Break the touch barrier to test the waters. First, look at her and show her that you’re interested in what she has to say. Then, briefly look at her lips and any physical features that stand out. Test how open she is to any kind of touch. A low-key hand placement on her arm is just enough to kick off some chemistry. If she quickly looks at your lips, she might be seriously interested in you. If she’s very affectionate, try out just one suggestive form of touch. Put your hand on her knee. Use subtle compliments. For example, you can say, “This is so funny… that guy over there won’t stop checking you out!”
Tell her what you like about her.
She'll feel special and your honesty might impress her. Be clear so she knows exactly how you feel. If you’ve been on a few dates and already expressed a strong attraction, tell her you want to see her on an ongoing basis. For example, you can tell her: “I’m really glad to finally take you out on a date. It feels like we’ve been following each other for ages now.” “I’m not sure if you could tell by now, but I’m extremely interested in you. You’re insanely smart and attractive.” “I’m just putting this out there—and it’s totally cool if you’re not feeling this—but I feel a strong connection with you.”
Ask her if she wants to continue the date at your place.
Be casual and make it clear that it's totally up to her. Just be honest with her! Explain that you want the date to go on, and that you’d appreciate getting to know her one-on-one without anyone else around. Invite her over with comments like: “Hey, I’d love to continue this at my place! I have a ton of questions I still need to ask!” ”There’s just so much to talk about. Maybe we can head to my apartment and dive deeper into this topic?” If she isn’t ready to come over, tell her you’re cool with that. You’re way more likely to earn her trust.
Be a good host.
Give her a tour and bring up experiences that she might enjoy. For example, you can show off your book or movie collection. You can also suggest an activity, like cooking or mixing cocktails together. She’ll get to see another side of you. Offer a fun time by saying something like: “I have a book on my shelf that you’d love. I’ll show you some of the best quotes.” “I watched all these videos on craft cocktails, but I’ve never actually tried mixing one. Want to try making one together?” “I’m not sure if I hit the mark with my decor here. I’ll show you around, and you can give me some tips…”
Turn on romantic music.
Warm up the mood so she can relax. Choose tracks that show off your personality. Turn up the songs to a volume she can hear while she talks to you. Just let the music play and see how she reacts. If she asks any questions about your selection, then you can give her more details. For example, you can share some thoughts like: “Oh, yeah! This band is great. I actually saw them live a couple years ago.” “The lyrics are intense, huh? That’s always been so interesting to me, since the vocals are so chill and relaxed.” Music also fills the silence. It’ll keep your date engaged when both of you think about what to say.
Sit down and keep the vibe low-key.
Stick to the couch instead of the bed so she'll feel comfortable. When she takes a seat, bring up light and fun topics. You’ll give her a lot of time to adjust to you and decide where she wants the rest of the date to go. Share details, then ask a question. For example, you can say, “Here are some pictures of my trip to Nepal. Where would you like to travel to?” See where she sits to check her comfort level. She may sit far away, or she might get right next to you. You can also put on a movie. If she hugs your arm while you watch it, she might be trying to give you a strong signal of interest.
Explain that you have no expectations.
Reassure her that you’re open to any kind of dynamic. Tell her that you just want to talk, and that you are open to what feels right for both of you. That way, she can focus on what she wants out of the date. To let her take the lead, you can start off with something like: “I didn’t have any expectations about how today would turn out, and I still don’t. All I know is that I’m really enjoying myself." “You’re so fun to have around, and I could listen to you for hours.” You can also ask her a question like, “What do you think you’re in the mood for right now?”
Offer for her to stay or take her home.
Let her know that her safety is your primary concern. If you give her the option to spend more time with you or head back to her place, she’ll value how sensitive you are. After 3-5 hours have gone by, ask what’s best for her. Remind her that her needs matter the most to you. You can check in and say something like: "Let me check what time it is. Wow! We’ve been talking for hours. What’s your energy level right now?” “Do you want to be home by a specific time?” “Do you have a way back? I can pay for a ride share if you need one!”
Follow up and thank her for coming over.
Reach out with a text and so she knows you value her. Send a short but thoughtful message. For example, you can tell her about a favorite part of your date. You can also compliment her personality. You can leave a note like: "Thanks for hanging out! I loved your story about haunted houses! I'm pretty tough, but you gave me chills." "It was great how you made our waiter laugh all night. I'm glad I had you all to myself after dinner!" "It was a blast going axe-throwing with you. You're a girl no one should mess with! I'm lucky I saw your softer side when you came over. ????"
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