How to Punish Your Kids for Smoking

Discussing the Consequences of Smoking

Talk about the known health issues associated with smoking. Many teens believe they are indestructible and will think very little of the long term health issues associated with smoking. But it may still be useful to start the discussion by mentioning how smoking has been known to cause serious health problems, such as cancer, heart disease and lung disease. Many adult smokers start smoking when they are very young and get addicted to years of poisoning their body through cigarettes. You may want to tell your teen that smoking is the leading cause of preventable deaths in the United States. Often, teenagers are not as concerned with long term health issues and may not view cigarettes as addicting. But it can help to mention the facts behind cigarette smoking to your teen anyway, as it could help them realize the seriousness of developing a smoking habit when they are very young.

Bring up how smoking can negatively affect your teen’s performance in school. Your teen may respond more to consequences that feel more immediate, such as how smoking could negatively affect their performance at school. Smoking may impair their ability to concentrate in class and make it difficult for them to hurry to and from classes. They may also start to miss classes because they cannot go without smoking during school hours, which could put their academic performance in jeopardy. You may also talk about how smoking can negatively affect your teen’s ability to do extracurricular activities, like sports. They may have difficulty breathing while they are trying to compete on track team or do their dance routines. They may also struggle with doing physical activity with friends and family as they may have lung issues due to smoking.

Point out how smoking could negatively affect your teen’s appearance. You can also play on your teen’s concern for their appearance and body image to try to convince them not to smoke. You may note that smoking causes your teeth to turn yellow and can prematurely age you, leading to wrinkles earlier in life. Smoking can also cause bad breath and make your clothing smell like an ashtray. Your teen may be more receptive to hearing about how smoking can lead to issues with their appearance, as these are likely real and immediate concerns to them. You should also mention that smoking could make it more difficult for your teen to exercise and working out due to breathing and lung issues. This could then negatively affect their body image and their weight.

Use real life examples if there are smokers in your family. Another way to communicate the consequences of smoking to your teen is to use a family member or a friend who smokes as an example. Real life examples can help put smoking into perspective for your teen and force them to focus on the real life consequences of cigarettes. For example, maybe your teen’s uncle has a pack a day habit. You may note how the uncle now has breathing problems and poor health due to smoking. You may also point out that the uncle spends a lot of money every year on his habit and has been struggling to quit for years, even though he is aware his smoking is hurting his body.

Restricting or Limiting Their Access to Cigarettes

Cut off your teen’s allowance if the money is used for cigarettes. Yelling at your teen and informing them that they cannot smoke may not be the most effective solution, as this could only cause them to rebel against you more and continue smoking. Instead, think about ways where you can restrict or limit your teen’s access to cigarettes and make it more difficult for them to get their hands on a pack of smokes. This may mean cutting off your teen’s allowance so they cannot use your money to buy cigarettes. Cutting off their allowance may also make it harder for them to buy other things for themselves and they may end up getting frustrated enough that they will agree to not buy cigarettes if that means they can get their allowance back. You may also try to regulate your teen’s spending so you can try to dissuade them from buying cigarettes. For example, if your teen asks you for money to spend on school books, go shopping together for the books and pay attention to how your teen is spending the money. Make sure their money goes towards healthy habits and items that will benefit them, rather than cigarettes.

Do not allow smoking in your home. Though you may not want to dole out harsh punishment for your teen at the risk of encouraging them to smoke more, you can put controls in place at home to discourage them from smoking. You may tell them that under no circumstances is smoking allowed in your home, under your roof. You may also inform them that if you catch them smoking in their room or in the house, you are going to confiscate the smokes and adjust their curfew so they have to come home earlier on the weekends. These rules may upset them, but it is one way that you can exert your authority over the situation. If you smoke, you should be a good role model and practice what you preach. Take your smoking habit outside or make an effort to quit. Your teen will notice if you break your own rules, so try to follow them yourself and lead by example.

Suggest your teen spend less time with friends who smoke. Teens often start smoking due to being around friends who also smoke. You can try to instruct your teen not to hang around friends who smoke, but this may backfire and cause your teen to only hang out with friends you do not approve of even more than they did before. Instead, you may want to suggest that your teen spend time with friends who do not smoke, or try to spend equal time with other groups of friends. This way, you can hint at this possibility and allow your teen some freedom to decide, rather than trying to force them to do what you say. You may encourage your teen to spend time with better friend groups by suggesting that they invite over friends who do not smoke and allow them to spend time in your home. You may host a bbq or a dinner for these friends and make them feel welcome. This could show your teen that you appreciate and support when they bring home friends you approve of, rather than friends who smoke. You can take a stricter tone and forbid any friends who smoke from entering your home. This could be another way of keeping your teen away from these friends. But, this could also just lead to your teen spending time with friends who smoke outside of your home, and in turn, spending more time away from home.

Encourage your teen to focus more on school and extracurricular activities. You can try to deflect your teen’s interest in smoking by encouraging them to pursue other activities that are more healthy for them. Maybe they are motivated to do well in school. You can suggest that they put their energies into getting good grades and doing their college applications, rather than their smoking habit. Try to remind them of what is important in life and how smoking could get in the way of their goals. You can also try to get them to focus more on extracurricular activities they enjoy, such as sports, dance, or acting. Encourage them to sign up for more art classes or to try out for a sports team. This could allow them to adjust their focus from smoking to other activities that are more beneficial for them.

Maintaining an Open and Honest Relationship

Ask your teen why they are smoking. One way to better understand your teen’s smoking is to discuss reasons why they may be doing it. Sit down with them and ask them to reflect on why they may be smoking. Doing this may help both of you realize the motivations behind their smoking and possible get to the root cause. Determining the root cause of their smoking could then allow you to help them work on the issue and prevent them from smoking again. Have your teen write down their reasons for smoking as well as how they started smoking. Use the question, “Why do you think you are smoking?” as a writing prompt. Then, have them share their thoughts with you and discuss them together.

Try to quit smoking, if you smoke. Some teens are motivated to smoke because they watch their parents or other authority figures light up on a regular basis. They may then take up smoking out of curiosity or out of a desire to emulate their parents. If you, as a parent, have a smoking habit, you should consider quitting. This will allow you to practice what you preach and act as a role model for your teen. Quitting smoking can be a challenge, but let your teen know that you are willing to take it on so they do not end up smoking like you. You may then ask them to support you by not smoking as well. This way, you can both be there for each other as you both attempt to quit.

Get your teen professional help. If your teen is struggling to quit smoking or if you are worried your teen will develop a full on smoking addiction, you may reach out to professionals for help. It can difficult to stop smoking once you start, especially at a young age. You should try to support and help your teen by getting them professional help so they can learn how to stop smoking. You can contact an addiction counselor through the American Lung Association or your Department of Health. You may also want to talk to your family doctor and get a referral for an addiction therapist who has worked with teens before.