iPhone or iPad
Open your iPhone or iPad's Settings iPhone Settings App Icon. It's the gray gear icon on the home screen. This feature can only be disabled if you're using iOS 13.5 or greater. You can find out your current version (and upgrade, if necessary) in the Settings app under General > Software Update.
Scroll down and tap FaceTime. It's about halfway down the menu and has a green icon with a white camera inside.
Slide the "Speaking" switch to the Off position iPhone Switch Off Icon. This switch is under the "AUTOMATIC PROMINENCE" header. As long as this switch is off (gray), the tile of the person speaking will not move around or become larger on the screen.
macOS
Open the FaceTime app on your Mac. You'll find it in the Applications folder, as well as on the Launchpad. You'll need to be using macOS Catalina (10.15) or later to disable this feature. You can find your version of macOS by clicking the Apple menu and selecting About This Mac.
Click the FaceTime menu. It's in the menu bar at the top-left corner of the screen.
Click Preferences on the menu.
Remove the checkmark next to "Speaking." It's under the "Automatic Prominence" header near the middle of the window. As long as this box does not contain a checkmark, the tile of the person speaking will not move around or become larger on the screen.
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