How to Talk Like a Pirate

Practicin' Pirate Vocabulary

Learn sailing lingo. The "Golden Age" of piracy lasted from around 1680 to 1730, a time when most pirates were sailors gone rogue. As wayward sailors, pirates heavily use nautical lingo when conversing. Refer to your friends or co-workers as "mateys," and call people you don't like "scurvy dogs." When you greet someone, say "Ahoy!" When you're surprised or caught off-guard, yell, "Avast!" Don't just throw out sailing terms randomly. Know the history behind them so you can use them correctly. For example, did you know that "shiver me timbers" is the nautical equivalent of saying, "My teeth are chattering with fear?"

Memorize some choice nautical insults. Pirates call their best mates and their most loathsome enemies alike ghastly insults. Pick a few of your favorite insults and keep them in your memory so you can use them as needed. You could, for example, call a person who cuts you off in traffic a "bilge rat." In a pirate ship, the bilge is the lowest level of the ship. A rat living in the bilge lives among slime and ballast. You could also call someone who is awkward or inexperienced a "landlubber." Although traditionally thought to mean "land lover," this word actually comes from the word "lubber." Lubber means clumsy or uncoordinated. "Scurvy" is an insult that implies you feel scorn towards a certain thing. If you are annoyed at your sibling, for example, you could call them a "scurvy buccaneer."

Use "arr" as a multipurpose word. "Arr" can be used in a myriad of situations. You might shout "Arr!" to indicate agreement with a statement. Or you might yell "Arr!" if you stub your toe. "Arr" is a catch-all exclamation that you can use for most emotions, whether you feel joy, sorrow, anger, or fear. Although pirates commonly say "arr" in pop culture, pirates historically may not have used this exclamation so often. This phrase was popularized by Robert Newton, who played Long John Silver in Treasure Island. He used a southwest English accent. While pirates from this region may have said "arr," pirates from other countries likely didn't.

Avoid using modern slang. Some may think talking like a pirate just involves swearing however you like, but you'll sound much more colorful and "pirate-y" if you stick to their lingo. Most of the time, you can translate modern slang into nautical speak. Instead of saying someone "stinks like trash," for example, you could say instead, "Arr, ye smell like ye've been bathing in bilge for weeks!"

Perfectin' Yer Accent

Slur your words. Pirates did not articulate their words so much as mumble incoherently (partially because of all the rum they drank). Think of popular pirate icons, like Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow: they usually speak like they're inebriated. Mutter when you talk to people, and if they ask for clarification, speak even more incoherently. Drop your g's and v's in words. Instead of "never ever," for example, say "ne'er e'er." Swap words like "laughing" or "swimming" with "laughin'" and "swimmin'"

Say "ye" or "yer" instead of "you" or "your." If your aim is to talk like a pirate, don't say "you" when you want to address someone. Instead, say "ye" or "ya." When your friends are over to dinner, tell them as you hand them a plate, "Here's some grub for ye, ya scurvy buccaneer."

Refer to yourself as "me," not "I." Pirates don't say "I." They always call themselves "me," even if this wouldn't be grammatically correct. Instead of saying, "I have a cold," for example, a pirate would say "Got me a case of the sniffles!" Pirates also do not say "my." Don't say, "Look at my map." Instead, say, "Lookit me map." Swap "myself" for "meself."

Growl at your mates. Pirates are not known for their sunny, vibrant attitudes. To talk like a pirate, grumble often, scowl often, and if someone says something you disagree with, roll your eyes and insult them openly. Remember, pirates don't giggle. Make sure every time you laugh, you add a proper dosage of spite to your voice.

Speakin' with Swagger

Add a bit of rasp to your voice. Pirates talk in deep, gravelly voices. If you have a naturally high-pitched voice, practice talking lower. Shout often to strain your vocal cords so you can achieve a scratchier voice. You can also gargle lemon juice to add more roughness to your voice. You could damage your vocal cords if you're not careful. Drink soothing herbal tea at the end of the day to rest your vocal cords, and take care of yourself if you lose your voice.

Embellish your words with enthusiasm. Pirates are not timid folk. When they're amused, they guffaw. When they're outraged, they roar. Don't hold your emotions back. Talk loudly and exaggerate your words to indicate passionate emotions. Instead of, "I'm surprised," give a holler and yell, "Me eyes must be foolin' me! Are ye seein' this, ya mangy bilge rat?!"

Talk with your hands. Pirates gesture wildly with their hands to drive their points home. Don't worry about whether you're waving your hands too wildly: the more flamboyantly you do it, the better. If you're angry or surprised, slam your hand down on a table or hard surface. Pat your mateys on the back and laugh heartily if they tell an amusing joke.

Exude confidence in your words and actions. Pirates generally don't struggle with insecurity: rather, they practically radiate confidence. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, even if you think others will disagree with it. Should anyone shout back at you, throw them in the brig and tell them they'll walk the plank next time they give you lip. If you're prone to "uhms" or your voice often shakes, don't be afraid to pause. Pausing gives you a moment to recollect your thoughts and gain extra confidence.