How to Tell Your Parents You're Moving out of Home

Choosing the Right Time and Place

Think things through. Your parents are going to have a lot of concerns about you leaving and will ask a ton of questions. Here are some things you’ll want to consider that will definitely be on their minds: They might think that you’re not ready to live on your own. Your parents may feel sad about you leaving because they will miss you. They might think you should wait until you are married or until you can buy a house. They can be concerned about your future roommates.

Choose a sensible location. Whether you’re planning to move close to home or far away, your parents will still want to know all about it. Don't settle on the first place you find. Shop around and make sure that you find the best place for you and take your parents with you so they feel more included in the whole process. It may be a nice place on the inside, but learn what you can about the neighborhood, too. You'll be glad you did.

Find out everything you can about your roommates. If you are going to have a roommate, is it someone they’ve met? If not, schedule an introduction to alleviate the stress that you may be living with a stranger. Make sure you know enough about your roommate's lifestyle and financial situation to be able to judge whether there is a good fit between you.

Be certain your finances are in order. Moving can be very expensive, but don’t just think about the move. Your parents will want to know how you plan to support yourself over time. Be sure you’ve thought this through. Make sure you have a steady source of income Most places will require you to pay first and last month's rent, plus a deposit, upon moving in, so be sure to save up. Movers can be expensive, and so can renting a van. It's always handy if you can get friends to help, but make sure you do something nice in return. You have to make sure all of your utilities get turned on right away. This also costs money and may require deposits as well. Don't forget about the little things. All the small household items that you may have taken for granted won't just be there waiting for you. The little things add up! EXPERT TIP Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS Clinical Psychologist Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards. Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS Clinical Psychologist Moving out takes thoughtful planning and preparedness. Approach the conversation with care and input from loved ones who know your situation. Ensure you have the maturity and financial stability for this transition. Weigh the pros and cons of independence before taking this big step. With wisdom and emotional readiness, you’ll be set up for success.

Plan for transportation in your new home. You need to be able to get around on your own. Do you have a car or a bike, or will you be taking public transportation?

Think about the lifestyle you plan to have. Above all else, your parents will want you to be healthy and happy. It may sound trivial, but consider things like diet, cleanliness, hygiene and personal wellness.

Having the Conversation

Pick a good moment. When you’ve done the legwork and believe that you’re ready to tell your parents that you're moving out, pick a moment when you’ll be able to have a full discussion about it.

Stay firm. In the event that they push back, stand by your decision. Let them know that the time has come for you to move on. But to avoid turning it into an argument, try to: Be open and honest about your motivations to move out. Speak clearly and confidently about your plans. This will not only make the conversation easier, but it will further demonstrate how much you’ve thought about the situation.

Consider their feelings. Even though they may accept the fact that it’s time for you to move on, they’ll be sad to see you go. Demonstrate that you’ve been thinking about them, too. Tell them that you love them. Promise that you’ll be in touch as often as you can. Assure them that you won’t forget about birthdays, family events, special occasions, etc. Thank them for everything they've done for you.