What Does KMS Mean? Texting, Social Media, & More

What does KMS mean?

"KMS" is usually a joke that means “kill myself.” “KMS” surfaced on Twitter as early as 2009, probably to capture a lot of emotions—like frustration or irritation—in 140 characters or less. Since then, “KMS” has now been adopted by teens as a silly or sarcastic way to be over-the-top. Typically, teens will use private platforms, like Snapchat, WhatsApp, or iMessage, to say “KMS” because their inner circle finds it funny. Some people might only say “KMS” to a very specific group of friends. For example, a girl might only message “KMS” to other teen girls that she’s known for a long time. If your friend finds a situation a little unlucky or inconvenient, they’ll say “KMS” to let off some steam. Your friend will probably talk about an everyday situation that annoys them a little but that they'll forget later. For example, they may say, "I can't believe 7/11 is out of Hot Cheetos. ❌ ???? KMS." If they’ve had a tiring day, they might comment, “Am I ever going to get sleep?! ???? KMS.” If they’re feeling goofy, they may say something like, “You don’t follow me on IG?! KMS! ????”

“KMS” is also sometimes shorthand for “killing me slowly.” Typically, teenagers use this phrase when they’re incredibly bored and feel that time isn’t going by quickly enough. Maybe they’re watching a show that’s really dragging or their teacher seems to be talking too long. If this is the case, people might say “KMS” to say they’re restless and a bit annoyed. When your friend uses “KMS” to say “kill me slowly,” they’ll usually use a dry, sarcastic tone in their texts and posts. For example, they may tell you, “When are the leads in this show going to kiss already? It’s taking forever. KMS.” If they’re frustrated with classes, they may say something like, “How much longer is this semester going to be? It feels like an eternity. KMS.” If they’re in a sillier mood, they might make a comment like, “So who’s your crush?! I’ve waited all day for your text. KMS.”

In rare but serious cases, "KMS" refers to suicide. Your friend or someone you know may say “KMS” as a call for help. When they use shorthand for “kill myself,” they don’t mean to be funny or they use jokes to cope with their suicidal ideations. In these situations, it’s important to intervene and support this person’s mental health. This individual might say "KMS" after describing their emotional pain and bring up crises that negatively affect them and impact their psychological well being. For example, the tone of their text will sound extremely sad. They might make a comment like, “I haven’t made any new friends since I’ve moved here. I feel so isolated. KMS.” They may also talk about ways to hurt themselves or say that they don't find meaning in life. An individual who has self-harmed may say something like, “Life feels so empty. Seriously. KMS.”

How do I know if KMS is a joke?

Your friend is playfully overreacting. Their day had one small hiccup and wasn’t absolutely perfect, so now, they want to poke fun at that little annoyance. They’re probably hoping you’ll play along and tease them a little bit for being so dramatic. “I never asked the cute guy I met overseas for his number! KMS. ????????” “I’m old enough to pay taxes now! ???? KMS.” “My prom dress came today, but it’s the totally wrong color. KMS. ???? ????”

Your buddy is just expressing what they dislike. They have strong opinions and they want you to know where they draw the line. “KMS” shows their level of disapproval so you can sympathize or rant with them. “My aunt convinced my mom that I should do chores. ???? KMS.” “KMS. I hate the actor they cast for my fave superhero. ????????” “This coke is so flat. ???? KMS. I hate it.”

Someone is being sarcastic since they’re frustrated. They’ve hit a challenge or some trouble, so they use “KMS” as an opportunity to complain about their life. They probably just want some reassurance that their problem will blow over soon. “Wow. I’m ‘awesome’ at this game. ???? KMS.” “This assignment is so easy that I’m still up at 1 AM working on it. ???? KMS.” “My little brother told my parents I was out past curfew. How fun! ???? KMS.”

A person simply had a really bad day. While life is generally going pretty well for them, they’ve had a string of bad luck or dealt with one incredibly unfortunate event. Reassure them that you’re around to talk and offer them some sympathy to cheer them up. “I totally messed up my 360 in front of the whole skate park. ???????? KMS.” “I had so many quizzes today that I can’t think straight. ???? ????‍???? KMS.” “Burned a whole batch of brownies for my bf’s birthday. ???????? KMS.”

Someone is restless and impatient. They feel like they’ve had to wait a long time or that nothing interesting is happening right now. They’re also counting down the minutes until they can have fun again. “My mom dragged me to my sister’s recital. It’s three hours long. ???? KMS.” “I have to watch three seasons of this show until it picks up, KMS. ????” “Three whole months until I graduate. ⏳ KMS…”

How do I reply to KMS?

Laugh along with your buddy if they’re goofing off. Tell them if they’re being really dramatic or extremely opinionated. If they’re frustrated by an annoying situation, then playfully remind them to cool down and take a break. Try to find the humor in a bad day together and then say the next one will be brighter. Your great attitude will make them want to say “LOL” instead of “KMS.” “You are such a drama king! ???? ????” “Tell me what you really think, though! ???? ????” “Hey, you don’t need to be good at everything! Chill. ????” “Tomorrow will be better! ☀️” “Good things come to those who wait! ????”

What are signs that “KMS” refers to self-harm or suicide?

The person has talked about suicide before. If they have discussed suicidal attempts or ideations in the past, then they are at risk and “KMS” indicates that they may still fixate on suicide-related thoughts. Studies also suggest that people who suffer from suicidal ideation are more likely to make jokes about killing themselves—their humor is a cause for concern because it might be a way to express their struggles with mental health. Consider these warning signs if they say “KMS”: They’ve opened up about a condition such as depression or anxiety. They’ve shared that they are in extreme psychological or physical pain. They’ve provided details about how they would complete suicide. They know someone who has attempted or completed suicide. Their family has a history of suicide. They have been neglected or abused at home or at school. They worry they’re a “burden” or have “no reason” to live.

The person discusses literal self-harm. Even if this is the first time that you’ve heard them say “KMS” and follow it up with graphic details about hurting themself, one case is enough to be alarming. While others who say “KMS” have a light-hearted tone, a person who considers self-harm will focus on how they can inflict real damage upon themself. Watch for these clues that they are a danger to themself and need intervention: They’ve mentioned cutting, burning, or hitting themself. They say they don’t have the energy for normal routines, like showering. They discuss starving themself or reveal they suffer from an eating disorder. They say they abuse substances like alcohol or drugs. They talk about scars or wounds on their body.

Seek immediate help if you’re worried your friend is in a crisis. Tell any adults you trust—like their parents or a school counselor—that they’ve discussed either suicide or self-harm. Since the information is sensitive, privately share any details that concern you. Then, express that you believe your friend needs additional care, like therapy. Ask adults to intervene right away if your friend says they have a plan for how they’ll harm themself—this is an emergency situation. It’s okay and actually necessary to “tell on” your friend if they’re at risk—when you share any chats that worry you, you can save their life. Share a local suicide hotline with your friend. Encourage them to call and open up about their struggles with a trained crisis counselor. Remain in touch with your friend and their support figures. If your friend keeps making comments that worry you, tell trusted adults right away. If you believe your friend is in danger, call emergency services so crisis professionals can respond. Then, contact your friend’s parents so your friend is not left alone.