To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, every Friday. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain talks about individuals who get turned on by intelligence.
If you’ve always been more interested in someone’s bookshelf than their beach selfie, you might be a sapiosexual. The word “sapiosexuality” defines a person who finds intelligence and the human mind to be the most sexually attractive feature for a potential sexual relationship. The word is a combination of two terms ‘sapiens,’ which means wise or judicious, as well as the word ‘sexual.’
In simple terms, Sapiosexuals are best described as people who are sexually and mentally turned on by the display of intelligence. Sapiosexuals are aroused by smartness and sharp insights. Therefore, if you find intelligence is sexually attractive or arousing, then you
could probably assume you’re a sapiosexual. There’s also a possibility where you like to date sapiosexuals because you feel they exude intelligence.
Sapiosexuals don’t only have high intellectual standards for their romantic partners. They also have the same preferences with platonic relationships and friendships. Their social group also consists of highly intelligent people. Superficial friendships don’t cut out for them.
How do you know you are indeed dating a sapiosexual?
Has your partner ever told you that he finds the human brain to be the sexiest body part? If yes, you are probability dating a sapiosexual. Here are a few other ways of knowing for sure.
No petty conversation:
Sapiosexuals hate to engage in superficial conversations that revolve around what they deem to be mundane, everyday issues. Instead, they insist on engaging in smart and deep conversations with the people they are falling for. So, if your date is encouraging you to analyse and think deeply about issues, you are surely dating a sapiosexual.
That’s smart!
Does your date pay you compliments mostly on your achievements or on intelligent points you make during a conversation? Does
he always say he loves the way you think about issues? If yes, he’s certainly drawn to your intelligence above everything else.
Great Communicators:
Sapiosexuals excel at communication and they generally look for partners who can be effective communicators as well. In fact, they admit that they get turned on even by well-written text messages or social media posts written by their partners. And they simply hate rambling texts with typos or grammatical errors.
Meeting of Minds
: Experts say that sapiosexuals usually make great friends. It has been reported that sapiosexuals are motivated by growth and one can learn a lot from them. It might not be easy to be around a man or a woman who is stimulated by intelligence, but the challenge is worth taking, provided you’re on the same page with a sapiosexual.
Turned off by foolishness:
Sapiosexuals cannot stand those who need to assert themselves through aggression or over the top gestures. They have no tolerance for men or women who are foolish, and who unravel easily. They find it attractive when someone can meet difficult situations with poise, and with intellect. They admire those who can rationalize their feelings, and who do not explode or fly off the handle, whenever things go wrong.
Love Debating:
If someone challenges a debate, Sapiosexuals find themselves drawn to them on a deeper level. They will discover a counterpart who always expand their mind, and doesn’t shy away from using their knowledge to test or entice them. They don’t find these kinds of people stubborn or pretentious, either. They admire the eagerness, and their thirst for smart conversation.
Bad grammar is one of the biggest turn-offs:
If someone texts to Sapiosexuals things like “Hey wht r u doing?” or use short forms, they cannot stand it. They are automatically turned off, and cannot continue talking to the person any longer.
Always looking to learn:
The thought of sitting at home watching documentaries on the Universe and things you are still learning about, is ideal to Sapiosexuals. They absolutely love anything that expands their mind, and crave opportunities that provide them the ability to learn and grow.
Being a sapiosexual does not make you entitled or classist.
Most of the debate surrounding sapiosexuality argues that being attracted to a person’s intelligence isn’t a sexual preference – it just makes one classist, entitled, or elitist. But since we all have our own preferences, why can’t intelligence be one? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being majorly attracted to a person’s ability to think. As this article suggests, it’s actually biologically natural for you to want an intelligent partner. It’s part of our evolution. Plus, it means you get to have interesting conversations with your partner forever. There will be no boring moments.
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