This is my story, from a young boy who along with his entire community was driven out during the exodus of Kashmiri Pandits to an entrepreneur in Jammu and Kashmir who has reclaimed his motherland. This journey back home is nothing short of a life-learning experience, which has shaped me as a person and as a Kashmiri.
From living in makeshift tents to attending schools in shanties of Jammu to migrating to a college in Haryana, I experienced the cultural influx, starting with the Dogras in Jammu to my college friends who were predominantly from different parts of Haryana and Delhi. There were only a few with whom I could relate to, who could understand the tumultuous past I had witnessed, who belonged to where I belong.
This journey from being driven away from Kashmir to Jammu to attending college in Haryana and Delhi took away a part of my Kashmiri essence. It made me think if I can ever return to my homeland alive or settle in Kashmir.
Despite all the hopelessness, my emotional connect with Kashmir never withered, and every time I would meet a fellow Kashmiri anywhere, I would spend all my time chit-chatting with them. I would relive my childhood with them, laughing, joking and conversing in my mother tongue. In all these years, I yearned to visit my homeland — to know what was lost, what was left behind and what was mine.
As I found my feet professionally and started saving some money, Kashmir was the first travel destination on my list. Since 2015, I became a frequent weekend visitor to my homeland Kashmir. I started spending more time in my hometown Anantnag and then in Srinagar. After every visit to the Valley, my longing to settle back in my homeland became more intense. As I started making friends, I started speaking my mother tongue more frequently, I started findings my roots again, I started to feel like a Kashmiri again and, within a short span, my weekend trips turned into month-long trips.
I remember my first trip as a tourist when I hesitated to speak with the locals in Kashmiri, when I hesitated to explain my love and warmth for this place, when I hesitated to be an inhabitant of this place. A part of me started to again believe in the idea of returning to Kashmir. From being a solo traveller to being a host in Kashmir felt like a spiritual journey.
I started to make friends, I started to gauge the sentiment, I started to feel the vacuum of all those years spent in refugee camps, makeshift homes and rented rooms. I started to engage with the local youth, I started hearing stories about how Pakistan, ISI, Bitta Karate, Yasin Malik, Syed Ali Shah Geelani and their likes destroyed my homeland inch by inch, as I tried to figure out the actual reason of staying away from home for 32 years. I found out how the exodus was orchestrated by Pakistani-backed separatists in the Valley. As time passed and my interaction with locals increased, I realised how Pakistan and ISI orchestrated the mass exodus, driving me and my community out of our own homes. During my interactions, a part of me began to firm up my decision of returning.
I was in Srinagar when Article 370 was revoked, I got calls from my family and friends back in Jammu to leave the Valley as panic and anxiety had gripped the Valley and masters of the previous exodus were once again agitated and wanted Kashmir to burn. I was not willing to let go of what I had achieved in past four years and I was not ready to leave my home this time. This was the time when my Muslim friends in Kashmir started interacting more, started being on my side firmly, started making me believe that we are in this together, that my decision of being in my homeland was the right one and I could trust them with their words as they stood with me in times of distress. I finally was back home after 32 years for good.
The rise of nationalist youth in the Valley, the emerging Pro-India sentiment, the integration of Kashmir with the rest of India, the beginning of accountability and development and the acceptance of a Kashmiri Pandit settling back among his Muslim brethren in the Valley comforted me a lot. From starting as a tourist with a bag to settling down as an entrepreneur, my journey was complete. I work with the locals on daily basis, I live among people of all age groups, I meet and make new friends, I visit their homes, the joy of this togetherness is unparalleled.
When the recent civilian killings by Pakistan-sponsored terrorists took place in the Valley, my Kashmiri brethren stood by me by visiting and calling regularly to see if I am alright, some offered their own homes to stay, assuring me support and safety. I could clearly see the same anger and grief in their eyes which I was experiencing. We together gathered at Lal Chowk to condemn the brutal killings.
This instilled a sense of togetherness as I began to realise that the youth today are trying to set right what went wrong 32 years ago. With this realisation I began to believe in the idea of new Kashmir, I began to believe in my brothers and sisters in Kashmir, I began to believe that we can rebuild the broken houses and hearts. We can look at each other in the eyes and start afresh with genuine feelings and sentiments. With this belief, I am hopeful that all my Pandit brethren will return home and together we can build a Naya Kashmir.
The author is a political activist and an entrepreneur. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.
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