Send them a love letter.
Trade out technology for snail mail once in a while. Snail mail might feel old-fashioned, but it’s a uniquely sweet way of communicating with your partner. They’ll be surprised and touched that you took the time to write them a love letter. Texts and phone calls are wonderful, but they’ll definitely treasure your letters for a long time. On top of that, waiting for their reply can be something to look forward to. Other things you can send through the postal service include postcards, drawings, or photos you printed out.
Surprise them with a gift.
Send a care package or thoughtful gift to express your love. Even when you can’t be together on special days like your birthdays or Valentine’s Day, you can certainly still shower them with gifts and things you know they’ll enjoy. Or, make them a care package and send it to them randomly to let them know you’re thinking of them. Some things to send them include: Their favorite snacks and treats Chocolates for Valentine’s Day An item they’ve had their eye on for a while Flowers to let them know that you miss them
Text them randomly.
Let them know you’re thinking of them with a spontaneous text. You can show your significant other that they’re always on your mind by sending them texts throughout the day, not just when you have a specific question or something to say. Tell them about something funny that just happened, send them your random thoughts, or just let them know you miss them. For example: “I just tripped in front of a bunch of people. Save me.” “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” “Just want you to know that I miss you!!”
Send them a pic of something that reminds you of them.
Send them photos or videos of things that make you think of them. When you hear or see something that reminds you of your partner, tell them about it! It’ll make them feel good to know that you’re thinking about them and being reminded of them throughout the day. For example: Send them a photo of their favorite food you ate for lunch. Text them the name of a song that reminds you of them. Send them a YouTube video that you think they’ll find interesting.
Surprise them with an unexpected call.
Brighten their day with a surprise call or video chat. Just because you set up a calling schedule doesn’t mean you can’t drop in from time to time! Surprise your significant other over their lunch hour or right after they wake up to put a smile on their face. Just make sure you have a good idea of their schedule. You don’t want to call in and accidentally interrupt a class or an important meeting.
Have a deep conversation.
Explore deeper topics that’ll really help you understand your partner. While it’s certainly great to talk about your day-to-day activities and keep each other in the loop about your lives, sitting down and having a deep conversation can help you learn more about how your partner thinks and what they believe in. You might discover even more things you have in common, or this could be a way to uncover some of your differences. Some topics to discuss include: Dreams and aspirations Faith and religious beliefs Political views Fears and worries Values Favorite memories
Plan a fun activity to do together.
Try new things together to make great memories. Even though you’re not right by each other’s sides, that doesn’t mean you can’t create fun memories together through new experiences. You’ll feel closer to one another and will have something unique to bond over and talk about. Some ideas of things to do include: Signing up for an online class together Starting a new hobby together like drawing, knitting, or exercising. Reading the same book together. Attempting to cook the same recipe and seeing whose is better. Going to restaurants with similar menus and giving reviews to each other.
Schedule a visit to see each other.
Make plans to see each other in person whenever you can. Just because you’re long-distance most of the time doesn’t mean you can’t ever see each other in person. Make plans to visit each other wherever you’re living, or meet somewhere in the middle and make a vacation out of your time together. Take this time to do the things you couldn’t do long distance, like going on dates or being intimate together. Plan for your next visit while you’re together so that you’ll have something to look forward to. Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves to have a perfect visit. Don’t feel bad if you get into an argument, or if one of you needs to work or study while you’re together. Be flexible and understanding with each other.
Make a scrapbook together.
Create something together to house all of your great memories. Get in touch with your creative side and decide on a fun project to work on together with your long-distance partner. This is a great way to bond as well as well as reminisce about all of the wonderful times you’ve spent together. For example: Make a digital scrapbook that includes your favorite photos and videos of each other. Set up a joint Instagram account to post photos of each other and pictures from your everyday lives. Create a playlist of songs that remind you of each other.
Make them laugh.
Send them pictures and videos to make them smile. Send your significant other funny pictures, memes, and videos you see online, selfies, and even pictures from your day-to-day life that’ll put a smile on their face. They’ll appreciate your effort to brighten their day, and you might get some smile-worthy content in return. For example: Link them to a funny YouTube video that you know will make them laugh. Text them a joke. Send them a picture of you making a funny face.
Ask about their day.
Show genuine interest in what’s going on in their life. When you get on the phone, check in with your partner about their day at work or school. Ask about how they’re doing, see how different projects are going, and generally express interest in their day-to-day life. This might seem small, but showing that you’re invested in what’s going on in their life can make them feel loved and appreciated. Making an effort to remember small details about their life is a very thoughtful gesture that’ll make them feel genuinely cared for. For example, contact them on the anniversary of a special event in their life, check in with them when they finish a big project, or ask them about things happening with their friends and family.
Make time for intimacy.
Change things up with spicy texts, photos, or video calls. Even though there are some limits to how physically intimate you and your partner can get with one another, there are still plenty of creative ways to add a bit of spice to your relationship. Intimacy is important in making each other feel loved and strengthening your bond as a couple. Just make sure you’re both on the same page about what things you are and aren’t comfortable with. Some things you might do include: Sending dirty texts to each other. Giving a go at having phone sex. Taking a bath together over a video call. Doing role-play together over the phone or video chat.
Tell them “I love you” often.
Express your love and appreciation with words of affection. Your partner already knows you care about them, but it never hurts to remind them every once in a while, especially when they’re not expecting it. Tell them you love them, give them a compliment, and find creative ways to express your gratitude to them. For example: Make it a goal to say “I love you” every day. Point out 1 thing you love about them and text it to them each day. Write them a heartfelt letter telling them everything you appreciate about them.
Maintain consistent communication.
Set up a schedule for when you’ll contact each other. Try to keep a regular phone or video chat schedule to make sure you and your partner get to talk to each other often. It’s also a nice way to check in with your partner and hear each other’s voices, which can help you feel closer despite the lack of a physical connection.Tip: Calling each other right before bed is a nice way to wind down after a long day. It can also help you feel like you’re going to sleep next to each other. For example, set aside Saturday mornings for video chatting and catching up about your week. Or, make it a habit to text each other “Good morning” and “Good night” each day. This doesn’t mean you need to be in contact with them 24/7. In fact, spamming them with calls and texts can make them feel a bit suffocated.
Tell them specific details about your day.
Make them feel like they’re really there next to you. Share the things that happen to you in enough detail that your partner really feels like they’re there with you. This will help them feel like they’re a part of your life, lessening the distance between you. For example: Tell them about something funny that happened at work. Explain to them what you plan on cooking for dinner. Take them through your entire thought process while you decide what color to paint your room. Tell them about how your family and friends are doing.
Send each other support and encouragement.
Cheer them on and celebrate accomplishments together. Send your partner encouraging messages throughout the day when they have something big going on in their life, give them your unconditional support when they try new things, and give them reassurance when they begin to doubt themselves. There’s no better way to express your love and affection than by reminding them that you’ll stick by their side through it all. For example, send them a good luck test if they have a big presentation or interview coming up. Or, give them advice if they come to you with a problem to help them work through it. Give them your undivided attention when they tell you something important and actively listen to what they have to say.
Be honest with each other.
Honesty builds trust between you and your partner. Make sure to set aside some time to open up to your partner and talk about your honest thoughts and feelings. Be sure to also ask them how they’re feeling and listen to one another to show you really care. If you and your partner both feel like you can be vulnerable with one another, your bond will only continue to strengthen. For example, if something’s stressing you out in your personal life or in your relationship, don’t be afraid to tell your partner.
Sit down and discuss any issues right away.
Tackle problems as a team to strengthen your relationship. Every relationship experiences some bumps in the road, but they can feel harder to move past when you’re not with each other. When you’re feeling frustrated, annoyed, confused, or upset, it’s important to talk to your partner about it and work through it as a team. Figuring out a solution or a compromise together can be hard, but it will reinforce the strength of your relationship in the long run. Use “I” language when talking to your partner to keep the focus on your personal feelings and avoid sounding like you’re accusing them. For example, instead of saying, “You don’t spend any time with me anymore,” say, “I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately and would like it if we could talk more.” Avoid cutting off communication when you’re angry or upset since it could create more problems.
Respect each other’s independence.
Live your own life and pursue interests outside of the relationship. Whether you’re long-distance or not, all healthy relationships require partners to maintain a sense of independence. Pursue your hobbies, try new things, spend time with friends and family, and let your partner do the same. When you spend some time apart, you’ll be able to come back together with newfound energy and excitement. Make sure to take care of yourself as well. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, and combat stress by doing things like exercising or meditating.
Talk about the future of your relationship
Come up with a long-term goal for your relationship. Make sure you and your partner are both in agreement on where your relationship is going. If you both see your relationship lasting long-term, talk about when you think you might be able to end the long distance and be near each other. Creating an end goal can give you something to look forward to as well as strengthen your commitment to one another. For example, you might agree to move to where they are within the next 2 years if your job and financial situation allow it. If you don’t see your relationship going much further, be honest with your partner and discuss the possibility of ending things in the future.
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