What does being the little spoon say about you?
You like the wholesome attention. Sure, spooning is a two-way street of giving affection, but let’s be honest, it’s all about the little spoon. As the little spoon, you feel like you’re the big spoon’s entire world as they wrap themself around you, and you love the feeling of being someone’s most important person in those moments.
You need a little TLC. The little spoon is the receiver of the bear hug, the cozy little duckie in the warm, soft egg. After a long day, you just want to lie down with someone you love and let them block the world out for you, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Everyone needs to be the little spoon now and then.
You’re a little more hands-off. The little spoon’s job is just to lie there and bask in the affection. Sure, you might have to shift every now and then to get comfy, but for the most part, it’s really the big spoon doing most of the work (“work” just being a big, soft hug). As the little spoon, you’d rather have your hands free. Maybe you’re reading a book or scrolling your phone, or just hugging a pillow.
What does being the big spoon say about you?
You have a generous personality. You’re a giver, a protector. When things get rough, you’re probably the first person to step up. That’s because you feel confident and capable, and feel that it’s your job to make people feel safe and comfortable. Your spooning partner absolutely appreciates it, and you make them feel safe and secure.
You like to have a little more space. The big spoon is sort of like the “outside” of the spoon. You’ve got nobody curving around you, because it’s your job to wrap yourself around someone else. It’s a little less claustrophobic, and gives you some much-needed air on the stuffier nights.
You’re the responsible one in the relationship. Generally, you like to make sure everything is going smoothly, and that your partner gets to sit back and enjoy life. Or, your partner’s a little bit of a wild one, and it’s your job to reign them in and keep them grounded. That’s why you feel comfortable as the big spoon, so you can keep your arms around them without them wandering off, for once.
Benefits of Spooning
Cuddling boosts your mood. Spooning releases oxytocin in your brain, a powerful hormone that has many effects on your mind and body. One of those effects is stabilizing and lifting your mood. The more you spoon, the more leveled-out and positive your emotions become, so spoon away!
Spooning can bring you physically and emotionally closer. One study found that couples who spent extra time cuddling experienced higher relationship satisfaction than couples who merely spent time together. Spooning with your boo is a great way to forge a more intimate and comfortable connection, with very little effort.
Spooning increases relationship loyalty. That same study found that couples who spooned more often were more focused on their partner, and less prone to thinking about other people, or other relationship options. By being physically close, you come to love and appreciate your partner more, and your relationship becomes more durable.
Cuddling is a great way to reduce stress. Oxytocin, the “love hormone” released during physical touches like hugging and spooning, also promotes relaxation and reduces anxiety. If you’re feeling stressed after a long day, a little spooning might be all you need to get your stress levels back under control.
Cuddling helps improve heart health. Another study found that people who frequently hug and touch their partners had a lower base heart rate than people who seldom hugged others. That lower resting heartrate is much healthier in the long run, so don’t hesitate to do a little spooning. It’s good for you!
Spooning can boost your immune system. Oxytocin, which is released when spooning, has a way of blocking or undoing the effects of cortisol, which is a stress hormone that kicks in under pressure, but which also lowers your immune system’s guard. A little spooning can increase your oxytocin, fighting off the negative effects of cortisol and giving your immune system a much-needed boost.
Different Ways to Spoon
Classic You know this one! You lie down and face the same way as your partner. The big spoon curls around the little spoon, with one arm over them and the other arm under their head, neck, or their pillow. Time-tested, comfortable, and super cozy. As the little spoon, consider hugging a pillow or a stuffed animal to feel even more secure and comfortable.
Staggered This is great for couples whose bodies might not be as “compatible” as they like. One partner, usually the big spoon, shimmies down a bit so that their stomach is about even with the little spoon’s backside. It’s also handy when the big spoon is much shorter or smaller than the little spoon.
Slanted With this style, both partners are “slanted” a little onto their backs, which makes a more casual and open-aired position that lets one or both get a free hand to do other activities, or just get a little more air. It’s great for back sleepers, or anyone who just wants a little more freedom while they cuddle. You might also “slant” onto your stomachs, if you’re stomach sleepers! Or, one partner can slant while the other stays on their side.
Facing together Okay, so it’s not technically “spooning,” if we’re being totally strict about the definition, but it’s got the same spirit! Both partners face each other and embrace. Bonus points for tangling your legs together, or nuzzling your head into your partner’s chest to get more comfortable.
Facing away This one’s for when you need a little me-time, or just want more freedom and space in bed. Partners face away from each other while letting their backs touch. It’s a great way to get a little physical intimacy and warmth while still keeping your space, and makes sleeping much easier.
Can a man be a little spoon?
Yes, plenty of men enjoy being the little spoon! Being the little spoon isn’t just the woman’s job. There are so many men out there who are full-time or part-time little spoons, for so many different reasons. Men like to be given that extra love and attention, too, and for many couples, heterosexual or otherwise, it just feels more comfortable to have the man be spooned, and doesn’t make you any less manly. Being the little spoon also adds some variety and excitement to cuddling, especially when the man is usually the big spoon. Plus, being the little spoon means no hair in your face, which is a huge win.
Spooning Myths
The big spoon is more dominant. Who takes the lead in the relationship has little, or nothing, to do with who gets to be the big spoon. Instead, it’s just a matter of practicality and emotional and physical needs. Sometimes the “dominant” person (if there is one) just feels cozier as the little spoon, or wants that extra bit of affection. Don’t read too much into it.
Spooning is always sexual. Sure, spooning can sometimes lead to sex, if you’re both down for that, but honestly, a lot of the time it just leads to sleep. After all, you’re snuggled up, warm, lying down… It’s hard not to get a little drowsy when you’re spooning. And that’s not to mention platonic cuddling!
Spooning positions are always determined by your height. It’s true that it’s often easier for the taller or larger person to be the big spoon, but that doesn’t mean they always have to be the big spoon. It’s also fun for the shorter person to be the one holding the taller person. It’s like cuddling a teddy bear that’s way bigger than you, and who doesn’t want that?
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