How to Apologize to a Taurus

Apologizing Effectively

Offer a meaningful apology. A meaningful apology communicates that you are sorry, that you accept responsibility and that you want to do something to make it better. This is also known as the 3 R's--Regret, Responsibility and Remedy. You need to express all 3 elements for your apology to be meaningful and effective. Know that you are apologizing only for your actions not for who you are. When you realize this, making the apology becomes easier.

Say “I am sorry.” A statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage can serve to disarm someone who is angry and let the other person know that you care. Be honest and genuine when you offer an expression of empathy toward the person, and allow your remorse and sincerity show on your face. Remember that letting the other person know you are sorry proves that you are capable of recognizing your error and strong enough to admit it. Even if you did not intend to hurt the other person, show him or her that you recognize something you did or didn’t do contributed to the person’s hurt or difficulty and makes you feel bad. You might say: "I am so sorry. I know I hurt your feelings and I feel bad for it." Another idea is something like, "I regret hurting you. I’m sorry," or, "I’m truly sorry for any pain or inconvenience I may have caused you."

Acknowledge what you did. Don’t get defensive, try to explain yourself or use “buts”. You already let the person know you are sorry, now you need to tell them what you’re sorry about in a clear, respectful and direct way. Admit where you messed up, and accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions. People in the Taurus sign are straight-forward and frank. They will appreciate you accepting your mistake. Even if there are valid reasons for why you did what you did, remember that these are not excuses that justify the consequences. Examples of statements that show responsibility, include: "I realize that by being late I caused you to worry about me and lose out on some of our time together," or, "I know it’s hard for you to trust anyone, and my lying to you has only reinforced your inability to trust. There is no excuse for what I did. I shouldn’t have lied at all,” or, “I understand why you are angry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know it hurt you.”

Tell the person what action you intend to take. Make a statement showing your willingness to try to remedy the problem. This may be a promise that you won’t (or will try not to) do it again or a statement that explains what you are going to do to make it better—such as pay for damages or go to therapy. You both understand that you can’t undo what was done no matter how much you wish you could, but you can still help repair the damage. Examples include: “Let me make it up to you by paying for dinner next time," or “I'll let you know next time when your jealousy is making me upset instead of holding it in until I explode like that," or “I’m starting therapy tomorrow to try and understand why I am acting this way.”

Check your attitude. How you feel about having to make an apology and what you want out of the apology will be communicated nonverbally. Make sure that your apology stems from a desire to reconnect, let the person know you are sorry and that you want to do something about what happened. Otherwise, your apology will not feel genuine and may seem manipulative, which makes it very unlikely to be accepted. Don’t apologize just because someone else tells you, because it is expected in the situation or because it will get you what you want. Accept others’ apologies as well. If you want people to accept when you are sorry, then do the same. If the other person apologizes to you sincerely, be gracious with your response. Thank them for trying to make things better.

Acknowledge that it’s too difficult for you to apologize. If you just can’t come up with or give an adequate apology, then at least admit your inability to do so. If you know an apology would probably help but can’t follow through at the moment, tell the person something like, “I’m really mad right now. I know an apology would help but I’m not ready for that yet.” A Taurus may recognize that kind of stubbornness in themselves as well and appreciate your honesty.

Take action. You can try to soften your Taurus by giving him or her something special, such as a home-cooked meal or a sentimental object that reminds the person of how you connected in the first place. Appeal to the loyalty that Taurus feels towards partners, friends and family as well as their love of material and luxury items. Always follow through with your promises to remedy the situation. If you said, for example, you’d go to therapy, then be sure to go. If your Taurus is female, get some flowers or chocolates (if she likes them). Add a message like "Dear Pooja, I'm very sorry I acted like that the other day. I hope you forgive me. Yours, Pragathi. If your Taurus is male, get something he wanted badly, such as a new phone case or facial hair trimmer. Get him a thoughtful gift, and apologize. You may also try giving him a funny sorry postcard.

Understanding Taurus

Appreciate Taurus’s positive traits. Tauruses have many positive traits and make trusted friends, family members, managers and employees. They are independent financially and emotionally and love stability, so you can always count on a Taurus. They can also be very generous, down-to-earth people who love to entertain and enjoy the finer things in life, such as art, music and fine cuisine. Tauruses are incredibly dependable, and this is a hallmark of their sign. They have a strong sense of duty and will always get the job done. They also thrive on feeling secure, and material objects bring them comfort. Tauruses do have a gentle side as well. They are patient and can be very loving people. Tauruses are persistent and will work very hard to get what they want. Obstacles, failures or setbacks do not discourage them.

Recognize Taurus’s negative side. There are a lot of good things about the Taurus personality, but people with this sign also carry many negative traits that can be difficult to deal with. In order to understand how to approach a Taurus, you need to know where problems could arise. Tauruses can be stubborn, inflexible, self-indulgent, lazy, materialistic and possessive. One of the most familiar characteristics of this sign is stubbornness. It is what helps keep Tauruses steady in life and achieve their goals. Tauruses do not like changing their minds. Know that when a Taurus doesn’t like the points you are making in your argument, he or she may just refuse to listen to you. Tauruses love to indulge in pleasurable and materialistic luxuries. Because of this, they can come across as lazy and unmotivated. You must give them a good reason to step out of their comfort zone. People born under the Taurus sign can be very attached to people and things, so they may become possessive, resentful or jealous easily. Tauruses may not seem like they have a temper but they do. Always be wary of messing with the bull sign. If you do, steer clear until that temper subsides.

Get familiar with the way Tauruses love. Venus, the Goddess of Love, is Taurus’s ruling planet. For this reason, Tauruses seek love for fulfillment and are rarely cynical about it. However, Tauruses do not make the most romantic partners because they value logic, facts and reality over emotions and other abstracts. Their approach to love can be raw, dogged and physical. Tauruses possessive nature can make their partners feel as if they are being controlled instead of truly loved. Tauruses need to be reminded that lovers must be treated with dignity and respect. When a Taurus is pursuing a lover, he or she can be resolute and unwavering. Tauruses will play the waiting game far longer than almost any other sign to get what they want. This can be a bad thing, though, if the one they are pursuing isn’t interested. Make sure a Taurus understands what you do and don’t want out of a relationship. It may be difficult to compromise with Tauruses in relationships. They must be encouraged to ask questions and come to a mutual agreement instead of deciding things on their own.

Recognize how Tauruses communicate. Tauruses are knowledgeable and articulate people. They are not passive-aggressive types who are afraid to tell you what they think. If you are wrong about something, a Taurus will let you know. Sometimes, this disapproval can sting quite a bit because they tend not to think about how what they say makes you feel. Tauruses may come across as bossy because of their critical eye and attention to detail. They rarely refrain from telling you how they think you should do things. The best thing you can do is not take this personally because the Taurus in your life is only trying to make everything perfect for both of you.

Understand the Taurus sign and arguments. People who fall under the Taurus sign are usually easy-going and laid back unless someone crosses the line or pushes their buttons. If you challenge a Taurus, be prepared for a lengthy conflict. A Taurus man or woman will argue obstinately, determined to make you agree with him or her. You will then see the legendary Taurus stubbornness firsthand, and while a Taurus will seem unmoved by the cruel words he or she says, these words can be deeply hurtful to you. Be careful when mentioning when a Taurus does something wrong. Though these people have no qualms about telling you when there's a problem with you, they are sensitive to anything that threatens their pride. They will avoid facing others when they make a mistake, and often attempt to apologize too late. This can push people away and even make enemies.

Preparing to Apologize

Admit what you did wrong to yourself. The first step to preparing an effective apology is to realize what you did wrong. Don’t make up excuses for why you did what you did or blame others. Be brutally honest with yourself, and determine what offense you committed that contributed to the conflict. Consider how what you did or didn’t do effected the other person and his or her life.

Understand how the other person feels. You can now comprehend the Taurus personality a little better, so take a moment to think of how he or she feels both during and after the offense. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and use the Taurus perspective to imagine these emotions very clearly—anger, hurt or disappointment.

Forgive yourself. Recognize that you wish you hadn’t done the action or said the words you did but don’t beat yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes, but your apology will only be effective after you forgive yourself. This is because guilt is very distracting, and an apology is not about you but the person you wronged. Forgiving yourself, apologizing to the person you hurt and trying not to make the same mistake again are the best things you can do for a guilty conscience. The purpose of guilt is to discourage you from going against your values, moral codes or beliefs. Know that holding onto guilt serves no positive function.

Forgive the Taurus. Every conflict has 2 sides and at least 2 people contributing to the problem. If the conflict occurred with a Taurus, then chances are you were also hurt in some way. Your apology will not be sincere if you have not gotten over the harm he or she caused you. Even if you don’t say anything about it, you will not be able to forget the things that hurt you, and resentment may slip through in other ways. Think of at least one reason that the other person reacted the way he or she did. Consider the earlier exercise when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. It is easier to forgive someone when you see their point of view and understand motivations, emotions and personality traits. This type of compassion may encourage others to forgive you more easily as well. Forgiving yourself and the person you wronged is not just fair but freeing. It allows you to take the first step to actually make the apology and then move on. Resolutions can strengthen relationships and allow you to let go of people who can't forgive.

Plan your apology. You want your apology to be a positive experience for both of you because you probably won’t get a second chance at it, so don’t be impulsive. Think about the words you want to use to express your apology based off what you did wrong and how the person likely feels. A simple, “I’m sorry” can work well but may not be enough for larger mistakes and transgressions. Don’t worry so much about the best way to make an apology. An apology of some sort is better than no apology. Overcome your anxiety and fear of being judged so you can make the apology. You may choose to apologize in person, by phone or in writing. Face-to-face apologies are usually the best way to apologize to a Taurus because it shows your courage and sincerity--qualities this sign respects. However, it can be very stressful and remembering what to say under pressure can be difficult. Choosing to apologize by phone may be a better option here. Apologizing in writing will allow you to perfect the message, especially if you have a hard time expressing yourself verbally. It gives both you and the person you wronged the time and space to consider your apology and forgive you. Though it is less stressful for you, it may not be the best option for a Taurus, unless he or she lives far from you.

Think of a solution. Focus your energy on finding a remedy that will satisfy the other person. Ask yourself questions, such as: “How can I fix this issue and restore his or her faith in me?” or “What can I improve to ensure this situation won’t happen again?” The solution may be something simple or it may take more time and energy.