How to Hug

Hugging a Crush

Approach your crush carefully. Smile and say some caring words or compliments. Make sure that they're expecting a hug. It can be awkward if you come up and hug someone out of the blue, especially in the city. Hugs often happen at celebratory events like birthday parties, graduations, or when two people are reunited after a long absence. that may be the right time to give someone a nice hug.

Lean forward and put your two arms around your crush, pressing the person you are hugging warmly toward you. If you are taller, the shorter person's arms should be around your neck, and you should embrace them around the waist. Keep them in that position for no more than a couple seconds, and let go as soon as they do. Look them in the eyes when you separate and continue the conversation naturally. If you are shorter, put your arms behind the taller person's neck and press your chest lightly against their chest. Let go as soon as they do. Let your hug be warm and friendly, and don't make it linger too long—think of the way you would hug your little sister.

Hugging a Friend

Go up to your friend. Give your friend a genuine smile.

Embrace your friend. Taller people: Close your eyes and think about how much you love your friend when hugging. Press as much as you feel without squishing your friend. Do not clap the person you're hugging on the shoulders. Some people think you don't like them if you do it that way. Shorter people: Embrace strongly, and clap each other on the top of your backs. If you're having an emotional moment, hold the hug for a brief moment and do not clap each other's backs.

Hugging a Lover

Approach your lover and put your hands on their shoulders. The experience is just as romantic no matter who initiates the hug.

Look your lover in the eyes and say, "I love you." If you want to tell them how much you care and how much you love spending every second together.

Fall into each other. Hug the person you love for as long as you want to. Taller people: Carefully sliding both your hands down from their shoulders, put them on their waist and slide them around their lower back. Put your head on their shoulder and press them towards you for as long as you like. Shorter people: Extend your arms toward your partner and wrap them around their neck and shoulders. Lean as close as possible and press your torso against theirs. In situations of extreme intimacy, interlocking your leg in theirs is appropriate. If you want to, you can give them a small massage with your hands, and try to warm them. You can also lift them in the air and shift their weight towards you. When you separate, you can look into your lover's eyes, smile genuinely and, if the situation is fitting, kiss them like you mean it.

Hugging a Family Member

Walk over to your family member. Approach your family member with kind feelings. Obviously, the feelings will not be the same as what you would feel for a crush, a lover or a close friend (unless you and your family members are also friends).

Embrace your family member. Continuing to talk while hugging is okay. Where you place your hands is not important because the person you are hugging will not think it over too much. Press gently. You do not necessarily have to have hard contact. Stroke your hands quickly across the top of the other person's back. Smile when you let go.

Tips that Apply to Any Kind of Hug

Hug only when the person you want to hug extends their arms. If the person does not look like they are preparing to hug you, then you may want to back off. Take into account the culture around hugging where the person is from. People on the West coast may be more open to hugging people they don't know as well than people from the East coast.

Be welcoming when you hug. If either of you requested the hug, then make the person you are hugging feel safe. Act as though the two of you are the only people who matter at the moment.

Avoid hugging the person too tightly. The best way to judge how tightly or loosely to hug is to let whomever you're hugging indicate what they want by how hard they squeeze. If they are soft, be soft back; if they like bear hugs and squeeze tightly, hug back the same way.

Hold the hug for a moment before letting go. A hug is a powerful way to communicate that you care for another person as it can feel great and improve the other person's mood. Ending the hug too early may make both of you feel awkward.

Know when to give a long, loving hug, especially if the person is feeling upset or down. If you feel comfortable, go along with it and hug until the other person lets go or loosens their hold.