Prayers for Breaking Soul Ties
Current or past sexual relationship: According to many believers in soul ties, a new soul tie is formed whenever two individuals engage in sexual intercourse for the first time. This soul tie is a key part of the unification of a married couple, but also means unhealthy soul ties can form from any sexual encounter outside of marriage. In your prayer, name and renounce the soul ties specifically and ask for forgiveness and strength. “In the name of Jesus Christ, I hereby renounce and break any and all soul ties formed between myself and [person’s name] due to fornication [or adultery]. I likewise cancel all destructive effects of these ungodly soul ties. I ask for the Lord’s forgiveness for my transgressions, and that He will grant me the strength to avoid destructive soul ties from this point forward. Amen.”
New sexual or physical encounter: If you’ve just had a sexual encounter that you know was a mistake—like an alcohol-aided one night stand—try praying to break the soul tie while it's in its infancy. If you didn’t engage in sexual intercourse but did have a heavy “make-out session” or similar physical encounter, pray to snuff out the spark of a new soul tie before it can take hold. “Lord Jesus, I humbly pray that you will help me to break [or prevent] any soul ties between myself and [person’s name] due to our sexual [or physical] encounter. Help me to follow in your righteous path and seek out only those soul ties that will nourish my spirit and bring me closer to you. In your holy name I pray, Amen.”
Sexual urges toward another person: Even if you haven’t engaged in sexual intercourse with a person, holding inappropriate sexual urges—such as for a married person or for someone other than your own spouse—may result in the formation of soul ties. So, instead of ignoring the unhealthy attachment you feel toward someone else simply because you’ve never had sex with them, pray to break the bonds before they lead to sexual intercourse. “Dear Heavenly Father, in your name I reject and sever all soul ties between myself and [person’s name]. I have committed fornication [or adultery] in my heart and ask for your forgiveness for my sinful thoughts. I renounce all harmful effects of these ungodly soul ties from now on, with the help of my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.” Some people believe that viewing pornography, especially if accompanied by masturbation, creates soul ties between the viewer and the person(s) viewed—despite the lack of personal knowledge or connection. From this point of view, it’s no different from developing lustful urges for a neighbor.
Non-consensual sexual act: It can be hard to accept—and not all believers do accept—that soul ties form between the perpetrator and survivor of rape or other sexual assault. But, if you think of soul ties as impediments to breaking free of damaging thoughts and feelings brought about by trauma, you might come to see how prayer can help break the unconscionable bond that was forced upon you. “In the name of Jesus Christ my Savior, I hereby reject and renounce all soul ties caused by the abuse perpetrated upon me by [person’s name, if known]. With your strength I am able to forgive them and fervently hope that they will choose repentance and renewal under your care. I will not forget what happened, but I will break any and all bonds between this person and myself. I do this with your help and in your name, Amen.”
Harmful family relationship: Not all soul ties are sexual in nature, so positive or negative bonds can form between close family members or friends as well. If, for example, you have a controlling family member who lures you into sinful ways or harmful choices, making a clean break—including through prayer—may be necessary. “Jesus my eternal Lord and Savior, in your name and through your power I hereby break all harmful ties between myself and [person’s name and their relation to you]. I renounce and reject their ungodly influence upon my life, and I thank you, Lord Jesus, for your saving grace and compassion. Amen.”
Deep but toxic friendship: The soul ties you form with a close friend may be toxic because the other person manipulates and takes advantage of you for their own selfish reasons. Or, the friend may provide an example of a sinful or ungodly lifestyle that you struggle to resist. In any case, prayer can help you break the bonds and end the friendship that is harming you. “Almighty God, relying on your strength I hereby cut any and all ungodly soul ties between myself and [person’s name]. I ask your forgiveness for allowing myself to be led astray as a result of a false friendship, and I ask for wisdom in choosing friends in the future. In your name I pray, Amen.”
Other Strategies for Breaking Soul Ties
Write about your unwanted soul tie and your feelings. Putting things down on paper really helps bring clarity to your situation. It’ll help you identify and define the harmful soul tie in your life and express your plan and your desire to break free from it. Here are a couple of helpful writing strategies to try: Keep a journal in which you can freely express your thoughts and feelings about your soul ties. Your journal entries can be very structured or completely unstructured—what’s truly important is putting things down on paper so you can reflect and respond. Write a letter to the person you have the undesirable soul tie with. The act of writing down your experience and your desire to break the bond will give you greater clarity and comfort. Burn or tear up the letter afterward instead of actually sending it to the other person.
Get rid of items that are connected to the person. Return, donate, sell, or destroy gifts, mementos, photos, and any other reminders of the other person. Doing so can help you break the unhealthy soul tie now and avoid an unwanted reattachment in the future. Getting rid of the items—maybe even ritually burning them—may directly help to break the soul tie. Plus, clearing away these reminders will definitely help you to move forward with your life.
Cut off contact with the other person completely. This action, just like getting rid of mementos in your home, helps you to leave the person behind and focus on a new future without them. Remove them from your contacts, don’t follow them on social media, and do your best to avoid situations in which you’re likely to run into them. Make sure the broken soul tie stays broken! It’s not always possible to completely break off contact—for instance, if you’re breaking a soul tie with a co-parent to your child. In this case, reduce the contact to the bare minimum necessary.
Imagine yourself literally cutting the cord that binds you. Close your eyes and picture a physical cord that connects you to the other person. Visualize yourself grabbing scissors and completely cutting the cord—you may even want to pantomime the cutting motion or even use real scissors to cut an actual cord stretched out in front of you. To take the imagery even further, visualize yourself and the other person on individual life rafts connected by a rope. Cut the rope and watch as your rafts drift ever further apart on the open sea.
Forgive yourself as well as the other person. If the other person harmed you in some way, forgiving them can help you break free and move on. It’s also important to forgive yourself if you feel at fault or ashamed for your part in the unhealthy soul tie. Continuing to hold a grudge against the other person or even yourself will make it that much more difficult to break the bond between you. In some cases it may be appropriate and cathartic to forgive the other person directly, but forgiving them privately in your own heart often provides the release and relief you’re seeking. For instance, if you’ve already broken off contact with the person, don’t feel as though you need to resume it in order to forgive them. Encourage yourself to find and offer forgiveness, but don’t rush the process. Forgive others and yourself on your own timetable. You might say something like the following to yourself: “I forgive Kathy for pursuing me even though she knew I was engaged, and I forgive myself for succumbing to her advances. We both were wrong, but I am ready to let go and look forward.”
Talk to a religious/spiritual advisor or mental health professional. If you have a religious or spiritual advisor who can help you recognize and break free of your soul tie, meet with them. Alternatively, meet with a mental health professional—ideally someone who’s familiar with soul ties and overcoming them. In either case, discuss your feelings and needs and work together to formulate strategies for moving forward with your life. If you’re feeling isolated or ashamed, remember that you are far from the first or the last person to be trapped by a harmful soul tie. Get the help you need, and be confident that you can and will break this soul tie!
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