Accept your lack of confidence. Even though it has been proven through research that confidence is a very attractive trait, it doesn't mean you have to have it innately. Accept that everyone, including yourself faces a lack of confidence throughout life and many a person isn't naturally confident. Confidence is one of those skills you have to practice regularly to both get and to maintain. Nobody perfects it all the time.
Aim to boost your levels of confidence to aid your dating prowess. A lack of confidence can be especially difficult when pursuing a romantic interest. Your date is going to be wanting someone who looks capable, seems self-assured and appears to know what's what. It's a guarantee that they're doing the right thing by choosing you.
Give yourself confidence by faking it to begin with. If you've been looking for your confidence for years now, then it's time to fake it! According to Time magazine writer, Martha C. White, "Research shows that people unconsciously defer to people who project an air of confidence...." Or as the cliché says, fake it till you make it. In time, that confidence will take on a life of its own and feel more natural. Until then, practice faking it.
Avoid bashful innuendos and mutterings. Other people can't read your mind. So throw on that smile and go speak to your crush.
Get this person alone. It doesn't matter how you do it. It's all about what happens at the end. Other people will automatically run interference even if they aren't interested in either of you. It is the nature of group dynamics. Thus, make a beeline for your romantic interest when you can see nobody else hovering around. Get a kik, a phone number, an email address, whatever; just make sure when you speak to this person, that there is no one but the two of you.
Concentrate on one specific goal. Start small. You shouldn't be looking to score right away. Instead, aim for small confirmations, mutual experiences, and the opportunity to share common interests. Narrowing your focus even in a two person conversation proves to your listener that you are committed.
Break the touch barrier. Physical contact is powerful and important in indicating your caring and serious intentions. Begin with small bits of physical contact. A nudge on the arm, a playful push, or a casual hug actually cause a positive biological reaction if there is any mutual attraction. If there isn't any prior attraction, these small gestures could spark the interest.
Take it slowly but not too slowly. Take a deep breath, so that your choice of words won't sound as if you're uncertain. Speak clearly and audibly. Speaking clearly indicates intelligence and reinforces that confidence you are channeling. Avoid using words you don't know well. Misused vocabulary may be overlooked, but if the person you are trying to charm has a strong vocabulary, you may diminish their impression of you.
Before you ask them, give them reasons to consider dating you. Tell them little things that you are good at. Talk up your positive traits. For example: "I'm a fantastic cook." "I bet I could impress you with my ability to sing like Arianna." Even suggestions of nurturing skills will evoke thoughts of you as a possible partner. "I know exactly how to make you forget your stress." The open ended suggestions lead to opportunities to demonstrate your affection.
Think it through before asking this person out. Know exactly what you plan to say, then say it. Don't beat around the bush. For example, "Hey, Sam? I've been thinking, we've known each other more than a year, and I think you're fantastic, so I was wondering if you would want to go out with me?" Just to give them an idea of what you're getting at. Sometimes asking someone out in context is even better. "There is a new cafe on Biele Street, why don't we go check it out together?".
Be ready for rejection as much as acceptance. Accept that everyone is different, so the suggested approaches might not 100 percent work. Accept the rejection and move on. It doesn't mean you're not a cool person; don't less this dent your confidence. The reality is that this person didn't make the connection or feel the compatibility. Better now than later; anyone willing to reject you isn't worth the sacrifices of a deeper relationship. If a friendship does continue, the opportunity may arise again in the future. Just don't get hung up on the rejection. Grace is key. If you want to ask a guy out to be your boyfriend, you can do it subtly. You can ask them how long it took them to go into a first relationship with their significant other. It will help you to gauge how long they take to warm up to somebody. Or you can use a direct approach. You can ask them about their plans for both of you. They may say yes or ignore you. It will be their answer.
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