- An ellipsis often means that she’s expressing awkwardness or discomfort, but doesn’t want to say so explicitly.
- “...” is also used as a common response to corny jokes or to express speechlessness.
- Play along with flirty uses of “...”, and politely ask for clarification in other contexts.
- Older people often use “...” to separate ideas, and the 3 dots symbol indicates that someone is currently typing a new message.
“...” Meanings
An ellipsis might mean, “Well this is awkward.” Those 3 dots are often used by people to express that something is awkward or uncomfortable, without actually saying so. It indicates that they think the conversation has veered into uneasy territory, and they might not feel confident enough to address it explicitly. You: “So how many boyfriends have you had?”Her: “...”
Three dots could mean she’s speechless or exasperated. Sometimes we just don’t have the words to express how we feel about something, and so we resort to “...” to do all the talking for us. She may have sent those dots because whatever you’re discussing has gotten just too strange or wild to even formulate a response. You: “...So then Kelly told him that she didn’t ever want to see him again, then she stole his car!” Her: “...”
An ellipsis is a common response to a bad joke or pun. It’s like in real life when someone makes a bad joke and you just look at them blankly. The joke was too bad to even merit a proper response. It’s not a negative reaction, just one that says, “There you go again, you goofball.” You: “A pig that does karate is called a pork chop.”Her: “...”
“...” could mean she’s dissatisfied, but doesn’t want to say so. It’s all about what she wants to say but can’t, either because it’d be too forward or maybe even just too rude. You might have suggested a plan she didn’t love, or maybe you just said something a bit silly and this is her way of giving you the polite heads-up. You: “Wanna go to the football game tonight?”Her: “...”Her: “I guess we could do that…”
“...” means she’s waiting for you to continue the conversation. Sometimes an ellipsis is her way of giving you a nudge. She wants you to reply, but she doesn’t want to come right out and say “Respond to me!” Maybe you’ve waited too long to text back, or maybe she’s just letting you know that it’s your turn to talk. Her: “What do you think of this dress?”Her (later): “...”
An ellipsis could mean she wants you to read between the lines. Not every ellipsis is negative. Sometimes she wants to suggest something flirty or get your imagination going, but it might be too soon or too forward to say it outright. Her: “You could come over tonight…” Her: “Had a great time last night…”
How to Respond
Keep up the story or joke in response to an exasperated ellipsis. If you’re just having fun or telling a wild story, don’t worry—that “...” is just her way of keeping the conversation going, even if she’s not sure what to say yet. Continue with your story, or keep things light (and maybe find a slightly better joke). Her: “...”You: “So the cops arrested her and he got his car back.”Her: “This is the wildest thing I’ve ever heard, oh my gosh.” Her: “...”You: “...and a mouse that says bad words is a cursor!” Her: “Okay I did laugh at that one.”
Text her back ASAP. If you think she hit you with the “...” because it’s been a minute since you texted, don’t wait! Pick up the conversation where you left off, and keep it moving. You don’t have to apologize too much–everyone’s busy and we can’t all be glued to our phones all the time–but give her your time to let her know you do care. “Oops, sorry, was busy. Yeah, that dress looks fantastic!” “Oh! Yes, I’d love to go to that movie.
Play along with the flirty ellipsis. If she’s playing coy and leaving things to your imagination, respond in kind to keep flirting over text. Match her energy, and throw in your own ellipsis to show her you’ve received the message and you’re on the same page. Her: “What are you up to tonight…”You: “That depends… What do you wanna to do?”
Ask her what she means. The uses of the ellipses are numerous and diverse. Context clues will tell you a lot, but sometimes you just won’t be able to tell what she means. In these cases, don’t be afraid to ask her politely. Digital communication is tricky, after all, and we all need to get a clue every now and then. “Sorry, did I say something wrong?” “What do you mean?” “I’m honestly not sure what you’re trying to say. Can you explain?”
Other Uses
Older people use ellipses to separate thoughts. It's a generational thing. Many older people are used to physical media like letters or postcards, where space is limited, and so they’d use an ellipsis to mark a new idea without having to move to a new line. The habit stuck, and now they do the same in text messages, even if they don’t have to. There are no negative connotations intended! “I talked to your brother yesterday… Did you read the newspaper?”
Someone might use an ellipsis to omit a word or signify a pause. Traditionally, ellipses are used in writing to mimic a pause or a thought trailing off, or to censor or replace a word. These don’t necessarily have negative connotations; they’re just used to communicate more clearly or to write more conversationally. “I wonder why they would do that…” “I feel like he’s… angry or something.” “I won’t repeat what she said, but she told him to … off.”
The “...” symbol means they’re currently writing a response. If you’re texting or messaging someone and you see the ellipsis symbol pop up (often with 3 dancing or flashing dots), it means the other person is typing a new message. Sit tight and see what they say!
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