Try not to blow a fuse, boss!

Shailaja* submitted her report 30 minutes after deadline, well aware of the solid shelling that would soon be her fate, courtesy her ‘boss from hell’. It had been difficult working those long hours while her 11-year-old pouted and whined. ‘The dragon’ looked up and stopped her apology mid-sentence. Then he hurled insults so loud that all of the 356 employees on the floor could hear. Shailaja responded with a deep breath, and in her mind, she saw her son’s cricket bat taking a good swing at his overgrown head. That, or the hockey stick he probably didn’t know how to use. In a dipstick study of 90 people across sectors such as IT, media, finance and other professions (medicine, education and the like), it was discovered that a good majority (44%) opted to respond to such situations by kicking their superior’s groin as a fictitious retribution outlet. While this might seem hilarious at first, according to psychological experts it does indicate subconscious thoughts of a violent nature. Considering it was either that or a toss up between running them over with a water lorry or hacking their facebook profile and posting inappropriate comments about their mother-in-law, it might seem a tad humane!This tendency might be the folly of hot blooded young professionals in the 20-35 age group says Jayanthi Peter, work counsellor and HOD, HRM MSSW says, “A boss who reprimands in public does humiliate his sub-ordinate so much that thoughts of retribution are inevitable.” In fact, according to a survey last year, released by national workplace expert Lynn Taylor, US employees spend 19.2 hours a week (13 hours during the work week and 6.2 hours on the weekend) worrying about “what a boss says or does.” Now that kind of quality time, you do not want to spend with your boss, unless of course it’s a BOT (Boss On Top) ‘with benefits’.Akash* who works as a senior audit consultant deals with his boss by playing a game called ‘Make your own boss face’. He says, “You have to initially create a likeness to your boss’ face,” And this is where the revenge begins, ” You can slap it, burn it, choke it — it’s a lot of fun.” Yes indeed. Certainly beats the trouble of sticking pins into a voodoo doll.Not surprisingly, a large number of votes from the IT workers (52.63%) showed that were inclined toward virtual payback; hacking into their boss’ facebook profile and posting inappropriate wall comments about the person’s mother-in-law. Understandably so, because in this sector most employees have indirect contact, responding to their upper management mails, rather than the men themselves. The media circuit on the hand, sees employees addressing their head by name and enjoying a more casual work environment. Hence, this sector witnessed a majority selection on the direct confrontational approach (groin guillotine), with facebook defacing a few steps behind.The fact that male bosses dominate the city’s work scape is clear (considering the number of groin kicks gleefully ticked against), with perhaps the occasional gnarley female top dog, thrown in the mix. Rohan* who recently joined client servicing at a business firm says,  “I have a female boss who is always flipping her hair. Sometimes I picture shaving exactly half of her head, that way she’ll still have one side to flip!”While these brief glimpses of sweet revenge do add colour to canteen conversations and office dos, there are those who take these insults so personally, that they decide to simply put in their papers.Vasuki Mathivanan, a counselling psychologist who coaches corporates on work life balance says, “Seven to eight people out of a hundred in my experience, want to quit their jobs on account of their bosses.” This is in line with an international survey that stated that just over 11% leave their jobs because they hate their bosses. “This is the reason companies are investing so much money these days in training programmes and mentoring facilities, to reduce friction and help staff members deal with stress, ” adds Jayanthi.So if the job you hold does bring satisfaction, you might want to consider easing the focus of your boss and channelling it into other things — like your work. However, if that power-driven ego-maniac does deserve a light dressing down, take the liberty of lacing up your steel tipped boot and if you don’t own one, dial for a Metro water lorry.(*Names changed as per request)