How to Deal With Your Annoying Little Brother

Calming Yourself Down

Take a deep breath. Take a second to breathe so that you can think about the problem with your brain rather than your emotions. One great breathing exercise to help you calm down is called the "Four Square" method. Inhale in for four counts, hold it for four counts, exhale for four counts, rest for four counts, then take two normal breaths. . Repeat this as many times as you need to until you feel calm. If your emotions are running high, chances are you will only add to the conflict.

Give yourself space. If you need to, find some privacy and distance from your brother. Go to another room to think about the problem. . Get some fresh air. Being outside and around nature is a great way to cool off.. Check in with your parents and go for a walk outside or in your backyard.

Distract yourself. Take twenty minutes to do something you love. Listen to a song you love or read a chapter in a book. If you get your mind off the problem for a bit you'll be able to see things more clearly when you come back.

Write out your feelings. Grab a notebook and write about the problem for just twenty minutes. Put all your stresses and frustrations on the page. This will help you move toward clarity and positivity more quickly

Put yourself in your brother's shoes. Younger children usually start fights with their siblings out of fear or jealousy. Often they are just seeking attention. Try to be sympathetic with your brother and think about what might be causing him to act the way he is. Don't get too mad. Lashing out might get you into trouble. Try to understand the problem

Communicating With Your Brother

Start a conversation. The best way to resolve any fight is through open communication. Find somewhere quiet and invite your brother to talk about the situation with you. Enter the conversation with a positive attitude. If you are defensive or upset he will sense it in you.

Tell your brother how you feel. If you are feeling frustrated by his behavior, tell him. Your brother may not understand the consequences of his actions. Be honest about your emotions. One good way to share your feelings is through the "I-Message" method. . Create a sentence using: "I feel_____________when you___________because___________." This will prevent your little brother from feeling attacked. If your little brother ignores you, then let him know that this means a lot to you.

Know when to apologize. It may feel from your perspective that you have done nothing wrong. But younger children are often sensitive and feel powerless. Let your brother know that you are on his side and are trying to fix the problem by apologizing. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of your pride in order to solve a conflict, especially with someone younger than you.

Listen to your brother. Young children often feel their feelings are unheard in a family. Show him that you care about him and understand him by being a good listener.

Strengthening Your Relationship With Your Brother

Show your love. Even if you fight with your brother, at the end of the day he is still family. If he feels loved and cared about, he will be less likely to start conflicts with you. Tell him you love him with your words or actions.

Compliment your brother on his achievements. When your brother does well in school, or helps you in some way, give him a compliment. This will help create a relationship of support between the two of you.

Plan activities with your brother. Spending time together can strengthen your relationship and make him feel like he is getting proper attention from you. Schedule a regular "hang out" time with your brother. This is a good way to show him he is loved and supported. He will also be more likely to give you privacy when you need it if you have a specific time set aside to play. Offer your help with homework or other projects. Your little brother probably looks up to you and helping him is a good way to show you are there for him.

Lead by example. You are an important role model for your brother. He makes choices about how to behave based on what he sees you do. If you are angry and combative with your brother, he will treat you the same way. If you are patient and kind with him, he will learn to be patient and kind with you.

Finding Freedom From Your Younger Brother

Ask your brother for space. While it is important to have a good relationship with your younger brother, you need time for yourself as well. Tell him kindly that you need time for yourself every day. When asking for space, do so very gently. It may be difficult for your little brother to understand that you can love him and still want some space from him.

Ask your parents for space from your brother. Your parents might not understand that you are older now, and need some more privacy. Talk to them about your needs. Together you can create ways to find distance and avoid conflict with your younger brother.

Find ways to get out of the house. Physical distance will help you feel more independent and more appreciative of your brother's presence when you are home. Look for after-school activities. Your school or local community center probably has after school art classes, sports teams, or drama productions. Ask your teachers and parents about ways to spend time outside of the house. If you share a room with your younger brother, create a space somewhere else in the house that is yours. Start doing your homework in the kitchen or on the couch. You might not have your own room, but creating a regular space to work or read can help you feel more independent in your home. The local library is a great, safe space to spend time outside of your family. Talk to your parents about spending time there after school or on the weekends.